This has been a life long struggle but particularly so during this period of the COVID-19 Pandemic with a jam-packed house full of people working and schooling from home without a functional basement. One of the positive things to come of this period of necessary quiet and being home-bound (and while there are a great many negatives, there are also some positives of quarantining with family) is the need to just be okay with letting some things go--the importance of which then diminishes greatly and guess what? It is okay!
It is okay to relinquish control and let a child help clean the house; it is okay to let the kids help make dinner (if they are old enough, of course). It is okay to not complete all the items on your TTD list for the day--or any of them at all, for that matter.
Life happenings right now have served to alter the definition of what is important in the world and, in turn, what is not as important despite what we thought previously. This can be applied to one's writing life, work life or overall way of life in general.
While relinquishing control (as much in what I feel I need to accomplish in any given day as much as my perception of how I think something should be completed by others, i.e. my kids or husband) is very difficult for me. I am learning and giving new meaning to the phrases, "such is life" and "this too shall pass." And you know what, I am more at peace on a day-to-day basis.
And then today, I read a chapter in SIMPLE ACTS OF MOVING FORWARD for the first time in a long while, and it was the perfect chapter to give voice to all I've been feeling. The title of the chapter was Choose Not to Care. In it, Wright said, "Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to just not care so much about how something will turn out."
Clearly one has to care about many things in life, at least to some degree, and I am not suggesting otherwise; however, I do agree that, "If you care deeply about everything, you'll never be able to rest."
How many of us push and push to complete just one more task, finish just one more chapter, do just one more thing, etc. But will it really matter tomorrow? Some, yes. And that is what one must do. But, the nos...let them go. Spend those moments with your spouse or kids, reading a book or watching a movie, or just sitting quietly enjoying the calm and quiet for a few minutes. Take in the scenery, the sights, the sounds and smells and get back to appreciating life and all it entails, the good and the not so great. Be thankful and find the joy, even in the little things for, sometimes, the little things are all we can find.
Wright goes on to say, "The truth is, it's up to you to prioritize all the jobs and tasks in your life. You can decide what is most important, what is next in importance, what you can take or leave, and what has nothing to do with you."
The words that really are important here are, "it's up to you." It is, isn't it? Or it certainly should be. Decide what is important to you and for you and let the rest go. The world won't stop turning, the day won't end. It. Will. Be. Okay! Take care of yourself or you won't be able to be there for your family, friends, work or whomever and whatever your life holds that is important to you.
Take care and be well!
Well said. I like this. I often say "This too shall pass. I'm bad about planning to do to many things each day and of course, when I don't accomplish them, I'm a failure. Lately, though, I've stopped making a list of things to do each and and just play it by ear. If I don't write one day, there's tomorrow. And if tomorrow never comes, it won't matter. Never too old to learn. Thanks for a great post.
ReplyDeleteI so agree, Beverly. Not accomplishing planned to do items is HARD! I like your idea of just playing it by ear. I think I will give that a try:)
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